Im struggling. Life is sooo freakin hectic and stressful right now. Unfortunately, I think my weight loss is suffering because of that. This past week, despite hitting the gym every day, sometimes twice, I am pretty sure I have lost nothing. That is sooo frustrating. How do I not get discouraged by that? How do I break through this stress induced plateau? I don't see my life getting any less stressful until I have spent a week doing nothing on the Mexican beaches. (32 days!)
Just to show you how much exercise I have done in the last seven days, here is a recap:
Tuesday: Gym 1 hour
Wednesday: Gym 1 hour, + I walked 4.5 kms home from work
Thursday: Gym 1 hour
Friday: Gym 1 hour
Saturday: Gym 1 hour 30 minutes in the morning + a walk in the afternoon + 1 hour in the evening
Sunday: no gym, but spent the day in Vancouver, walking
Monday: Gym 1 hour and then 1 hour of zumba
Today I will hit the gym for an hour.
I don't know what is going on. I mean, its not like I am mowing down. I am drinking my water, I am working out, I am getting plenty of sleep and I am watching what I eat ... I HATE PLATEAUS!
I tried zumba for the first time yesterday. It was pretty cool. The girl who instructed us kept making me laugh because seriously the entire time she had this gigantic smile on her face. She was just dancin with this perma-smile LOL.
I didn’t actually find it that challenging endurance-wise, but it sure is a nice change from the usual work outs. I have 5 more classes of it. Some of the dance moves are kind of difficult. I think once I master those then I will enjoy the class a bit more!
Tonight is the Teen Mom 2 finale and I am kind of excited/sad for that. I mean. Its cool that its on but it sucks that its over! I guess Ill have to get my weekly dose of reality tv drama from The Real World instead lol
One more cool thing that Id like to point out is that at almost 25 years old, I have my first pen pal! Well, email pal...whatever you want to call it. The reason we became email pals is because I go to this particular website, and on it, you post before and after photos of your weight loss. I came across her photo quite a few times and every time I did I had to show whoever was around me, or just said wow out loud. The girl has lost 130 lbs and looks AMAZING. After seeing her a few times I decided I had to let her know that I thought she looked awesome so she gave me her email address and now we are email pals! Lol Its pretty cool and nice to chat with someone who has struggled with weight loss too.
On another note, despite my plans of waiting til I am at my goal weight, I decided to try on some wedding dresses on Sunday! There is one particular dress that I loved and I cant stop thinking about. I am obviously going to keep looking around as I have tons of time, but that dress is going to be hard to top!
xo-B
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
Friday, 25 March 2011
Sometimes you just need to vent
Sometimes you just need to vent. Today is that day for me.
You know, when I started my weight loss journey I had no idea the struggle that would come. Not just physically in the gym but mentally. I have written about struggling to see my new self in the mirror but now my problem is a little different.
You'd think that my clothes being too big would be a good thing, but really it has caused me to be sooo frustrated and upset. Every morning I change and change and change and never feel good about myself. My clothes are all too big so when I put them on, they hang off me and I feel worse about myself than I did 40 lbs ago.
With an upcoming trip to Mexico amongst a million other things going on in my life, a shopping trip is just not in the cards right now. Not to mention, I plan on losing some more, so I don't want to spend a bunch of money on new clothes when I will just need to do it again, know what I mean? What to do??? Maybe Ill win the lottery...or maybe money will just fall out of the sky and land in my hands. . . I can dream & wish cant I?
Someone (you know who you are) sent me this and its an interesting little read:
Think of yourself not in terms of your problems.
Instead, identify yourself with your most promising possibilities.
Think of yourself not in terms of your regrets or disappointments.
Instead, consider all the valuable and useful lessons you've learned.
The way you picture yourself has a powerful effect on the reality of your life.
And you can picture yourself any way you choose.
Picture yourself expressing the best that is within you.
Picture yourself living fully, loving sincerely, giving gladly, and bringing unique value to each moment.
Picture yourself as the joyful, creative and effective person you know you can be.
Picture yourself dancing swiftly and successfully past each challenge and limitation.
You hold in your mind a mental picture of yourself.
The quality and substance of that picture make all the difference in the actions you take and the results you get.
Make that picture brilliantly superb, and your life will follow right along.
-- Ralph Marston
Another thing I stumbled across that Id like to share is this website:
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
It is very good for those (like me) who have problems seeing their own body for what it actually is.
On another note, its Friday. That's a good thing. This weekend will be good. Tomorrow I can get my house back in order. Saturdays are my cleaning day but last weekend was soo busy that there was no chance for cleaning so my house has seriously suffered. Sunday I am going to the wedding show! Yay! Time to get some ideas for this wedding!! :)
36 days til we leave for Mexico.. Theres soooo much to do before then. Eeeek xo-B
You know, when I started my weight loss journey I had no idea the struggle that would come. Not just physically in the gym but mentally. I have written about struggling to see my new self in the mirror but now my problem is a little different.
You'd think that my clothes being too big would be a good thing, but really it has caused me to be sooo frustrated and upset. Every morning I change and change and change and never feel good about myself. My clothes are all too big so when I put them on, they hang off me and I feel worse about myself than I did 40 lbs ago.
With an upcoming trip to Mexico amongst a million other things going on in my life, a shopping trip is just not in the cards right now. Not to mention, I plan on losing some more, so I don't want to spend a bunch of money on new clothes when I will just need to do it again, know what I mean? What to do??? Maybe Ill win the lottery...or maybe money will just fall out of the sky and land in my hands. . . I can dream & wish cant I?
Someone (you know who you are) sent me this and its an interesting little read:
Think of yourself not in terms of your problems.
Instead, identify yourself with your most promising possibilities.
Think of yourself not in terms of your regrets or disappointments.
Instead, consider all the valuable and useful lessons you've learned.
The way you picture yourself has a powerful effect on the reality of your life.
And you can picture yourself any way you choose.
Picture yourself expressing the best that is within you.
Picture yourself living fully, loving sincerely, giving gladly, and bringing unique value to each moment.
Picture yourself as the joyful, creative and effective person you know you can be.
Picture yourself dancing swiftly and successfully past each challenge and limitation.
You hold in your mind a mental picture of yourself.
The quality and substance of that picture make all the difference in the actions you take and the results you get.
Make that picture brilliantly superb, and your life will follow right along.
-- Ralph Marston
Another thing I stumbled across that Id like to share is this website:
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
It is very good for those (like me) who have problems seeing their own body for what it actually is.
On another note, its Friday. That's a good thing. This weekend will be good. Tomorrow I can get my house back in order. Saturdays are my cleaning day but last weekend was soo busy that there was no chance for cleaning so my house has seriously suffered. Sunday I am going to the wedding show! Yay! Time to get some ideas for this wedding!! :)
36 days til we leave for Mexico.. Theres soooo much to do before then. Eeeek xo-B
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
Winning!
When I first started my weight loss journey I knew that it WAS going to happen this time. Some sort of switch flipped and I just knew that this had to be done this time. I remember talking to my sister back in November joking that hey!! One day we could actually share clothes. Shes small. I don't know what size she is, but she was definitely a heck of a lot smaller than I was. Today, 18 weeks into my weight loss journey something freakin amazing happened to me... I PUT ON MY SISTERS DRESS, AND ZIPPED IT UP. All the way up. Wtf? I was shocked because when Liena brought it over, she said to me, "I don't know... Its kind of hard to do the zipper up"...so when I stepped into it, I didn't think there was a hope in h-e-double-hockey sticks that I would fit into it....but I did. I was so shocked that I had to take a picture and send it to my sis.
Here it is:
WOW. I have been having major image issues up to this point. Even though I am very close to 40 lbs lighter I promise you I still have major issues. When I went shopping on Sunday I still didn't feel as good as I thought I would when I tried on a pair of shorts that were 4 sizes smaller, and a shirt that was a size small instead of a large. This is a constant struggle that I REALLY need to overcome. Having moments like this morning with the dress is what I really need as I try to overcome my image issues. I feel like you can be a tiny little thing, but if you don't feel good about yourself you wont be happy. My initial goal was to lose 47 lbs...I never thought I could come this far! But.. The finish line is in sight! xo-B
Here it is:
 |
| SEE! Its zipped up!! |
 |
| Cant believe it |
 |
| This is my sis wearing the dress |
WOW. I have been having major image issues up to this point. Even though I am very close to 40 lbs lighter I promise you I still have major issues. When I went shopping on Sunday I still didn't feel as good as I thought I would when I tried on a pair of shorts that were 4 sizes smaller, and a shirt that was a size small instead of a large. This is a constant struggle that I REALLY need to overcome. Having moments like this morning with the dress is what I really need as I try to overcome my image issues. I feel like you can be a tiny little thing, but if you don't feel good about yourself you wont be happy. My initial goal was to lose 47 lbs...I never thought I could come this far! But.. The finish line is in sight! xo-B
Monday, 21 March 2011
Weddings & Shoe shopping
Well its been a week since I last wrote here. . . Im definitely slackin'. Between getting over strep throat, planning a wedding shower, visiting family, my brother coming to visit and a totally awesome trip shopping in the states, its been a super hectic week!
Sadly, my working out suffered big time this week too. In the last 7 days I have been to the gym once. ONCE. wtf? This is the longest Ive been without working out in God knows how long. Today I started fresh though, and hit the gym. Its always hard to get back into it after an extended period of not working out..today I was definitely a little rough around the edges lol I am pretty sure my weigh in is going to suck tomorrow. oh well. I am back on track now and thats all that matters.
My weekend was full of wedding stuff! Saturday I went to my dad + step moms and we talked wedding alllll day. It was awesome because we threw together some pretty awesome ideas. This upcoming weekend we are going to hit the wedding fair and hopefully get some more ideas there.
Then on Sunday Denise, Kristy, Angie and I went shopping to the states to find some shoes to wear in Denise + Dave's wedding. It seemed like we were looking for hours. We just could not find the shoes we wanted... finally we decided to check this one store. Denise, Kristy and Angie went down one aisle (because their sizes were down there) and I went seperately down my own aisle...and there they were. I saw these shoes, grabbed them right away and proceeded to almost run to the other aisle where the girls were and THEY WERE HOLDING THE SAME SHOES! It was like fate! So the girls all found their sizes and I started to sweat because I could not find my size. . . I looked down the aisle and all 3 girls were staring at me...waiting to see if my size was there. I looked down and at the very bottom of the shelf were my size... I grabbed them and held them up in the air as me and the girls all let out a "WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" it was awesome. Probably the most awesome moment between the 4 of us yet! lol The 6 week countdown is on!!! There is soo so much to do before we go I almost cant handle it. It will all be worth it when we are laying in the sun drinking cervezas! xo-B
Sadly, my working out suffered big time this week too. In the last 7 days I have been to the gym once. ONCE. wtf? This is the longest Ive been without working out in God knows how long. Today I started fresh though, and hit the gym. Its always hard to get back into it after an extended period of not working out..today I was definitely a little rough around the edges lol I am pretty sure my weigh in is going to suck tomorrow. oh well. I am back on track now and thats all that matters.
My weekend was full of wedding stuff! Saturday I went to my dad + step moms and we talked wedding alllll day. It was awesome because we threw together some pretty awesome ideas. This upcoming weekend we are going to hit the wedding fair and hopefully get some more ideas there.
Then on Sunday Denise, Kristy, Angie and I went shopping to the states to find some shoes to wear in Denise + Dave's wedding. It seemed like we were looking for hours. We just could not find the shoes we wanted... finally we decided to check this one store. Denise, Kristy and Angie went down one aisle (because their sizes were down there) and I went seperately down my own aisle...and there they were. I saw these shoes, grabbed them right away and proceeded to almost run to the other aisle where the girls were and THEY WERE HOLDING THE SAME SHOES! It was like fate! So the girls all found their sizes and I started to sweat because I could not find my size. . . I looked down the aisle and all 3 girls were staring at me...waiting to see if my size was there. I looked down and at the very bottom of the shelf were my size... I grabbed them and held them up in the air as me and the girls all let out a "WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" it was awesome. Probably the most awesome moment between the 4 of us yet! lol The 6 week countdown is on!!! There is soo so much to do before we go I almost cant handle it. It will all be worth it when we are laying in the sun drinking cervezas! xo-B
Monday, 14 March 2011
Strep throat blows
Well, the last couple days have been a total bust!!! Friday at work I started to get a bit of a sore throat. Wasnt feeling too, too bad so I went to the gym as usual, had a good work out.
Saturday morning I woke up feeling pretty run down but I thought I was just tired. Got to the gym and decided nope, I am not doing this. I feel like crap. Went home, and my throat started to get worse. Spent the afternoon in bed and then went to bed early on Saturday night. Saturday night I must have woken up literally 10 times. . my throat was KILLING me. I have never had a sore throat like that before. Sunday morning I woke up and had a fever...spent the day in bed and my throat was sooo sore I couldnt talk/eat/swallow. Shawn went and got me all these different meds that were supposed to help my throat but literally nothing worked... Finally by 3 pm I decided I need to go to the doctor... Got to the doc, he takes one quick look at my throat and goes "WOW, your throat is on fire, yes thats strep" Gives me a prescription for antibiotics. Today I am home from work..cant talk and feel soo run down. So in a nut shell, I havent been to the gym in 3 days. Yikes. The upside about being sick is I havent been eating so my weight is down (LOL) ...but of course this is not true weight loss.
I shouldnt be contagious anymore after this evening so I hope to go back to work tomorrow if Im feeling up to it. But what an awful weekend. Having strep throat is soooo bad, this is my first time having it, and hopefully my last!!
On another note, since I have been soo immobile this weekend, I spent a lot of time on my lap top researching wedding stuff. I think we have our colours picked out which is pretty cool! (Not telling what they are yet) Does anyone know any websites that have photos of peoples weddings and receptions? What are some good wedding websites?
Just wanted to share a couple comparison photos of my weight loss progress so far:
Saturday morning I woke up feeling pretty run down but I thought I was just tired. Got to the gym and decided nope, I am not doing this. I feel like crap. Went home, and my throat started to get worse. Spent the afternoon in bed and then went to bed early on Saturday night. Saturday night I must have woken up literally 10 times. . my throat was KILLING me. I have never had a sore throat like that before. Sunday morning I woke up and had a fever...spent the day in bed and my throat was sooo sore I couldnt talk/eat/swallow. Shawn went and got me all these different meds that were supposed to help my throat but literally nothing worked... Finally by 3 pm I decided I need to go to the doctor... Got to the doc, he takes one quick look at my throat and goes "WOW, your throat is on fire, yes thats strep" Gives me a prescription for antibiotics. Today I am home from work..cant talk and feel soo run down. So in a nut shell, I havent been to the gym in 3 days. Yikes. The upside about being sick is I havent been eating so my weight is down (LOL) ...but of course this is not true weight loss.
I shouldnt be contagious anymore after this evening so I hope to go back to work tomorrow if Im feeling up to it. But what an awful weekend. Having strep throat is soooo bad, this is my first time having it, and hopefully my last!!
On another note, since I have been soo immobile this weekend, I spent a lot of time on my lap top researching wedding stuff. I think we have our colours picked out which is pretty cool! (Not telling what they are yet) Does anyone know any websites that have photos of peoples weddings and receptions? What are some good wedding websites?
Just wanted to share a couple comparison photos of my weight loss progress so far:
Here I am Dec 11, and then again March 11 wearing the same outfit.
Here I am November 15 and then again March 11
I am sooo glad I took photos as this is the only way I can notice my weight loss. When I look in the mirror, I am still not seeing it. I absolutely hateee the mind games that come with weight loss!!
These last pounds are coming off, verrrrry slowly. . . . Ill just keep plugging away...
xo-B
Friday, 11 March 2011
Pics of my journey so far...
December 11
January 11
February 11
March 11
And just for fun... Before and afters in this outfit:
So there they are.... my photos so far. I am glad I took photos because it really helps me to notice my change.. especially when I look at the photo of me wearing the same outfit. I cant find the photo from November 15 so I cant include it on here, but it is on my very first post if you want to see it :) .... xo-B
Inspiration
I think I may have written about this before but I feel the need to write about it again if I have. One of the coolest things that has happened to me since I began my weight loss in November is how I am inspiring people! I have had soo many people private message me and tell me how I am inspiring them. THANK YOU LADIES! All of you who send me these messages mean soo much to me. Its soo amazing to see how many of you are inspired just cause I finally decided to get my act together!
I had inspiration too...
I want to take a sec to thank my dad, my step mom and her mom for starting THEIR weight loss because when I went to visit them that Saturday November 13 and they told me about what they were doing and how they were losing weight, they inspired me to finally get myself in gear. They showed me what they were eating, and how much they were eating and that's when I decided hey, I can do this too.
I was sick of imagining my old skinny self and longing to be that person because quite frankly, before November 13, I had kind of given up. I had decided that you know what, I don't think I can do this. . . It just took that one day with my family to realize, you know what? I can do this too.. And I WILL do this...because I want to be happy. I want to feel good. I want to go shopping and enjoy it. I want to look in the mirror and be proud. . . And now, 16 weeks later, I am slowly changing to a new person. I am starting to stand taller, I am starting to look in the mirror and see the old me again. I am beginning to be excited to go shopping. Although it still seems far off, I feel like I will be able to feel completely happy with myself one day in the near future.
Something pretty cool happened to me this morning. I have this pair of pants that are a size 7. A few months ago, I couldn't eve get them up over my thighs. Every now and again I try them on....seeing how I can get them a little further on helps me to see my weight loss. This morning I tried them on and although they are snug, I CAN DO THEM UP!!!!!! Wow. This is absolutely unbelievable. 35 lbs ago losing weight seemed impossible and you know what? Its not. It just takes hard work and A LOT of dedication. You have to want to lose weight. You have to completely change your lifestyle. No more planning things around food, instead, plan your food into your day. Don't make plans with your friends to go to dinner, make plans with friends to go for a run, or go to the gym. Wake up in the morning and plan when you will be going to the gym, or better yet, go to the gym first thing in the morning so that there is no chance to cancel the gym because something came up, or you're too tired. LOSE THE EXCUSES. Do this for YOU.
Can't wait til after work, #1 its FRIDAY!!!!!! #2 today is picture day. Hopefully I see a difference from Feb 11 to today. If I do, I shall post it for all to see! xo - B
I had inspiration too...
I want to take a sec to thank my dad, my step mom and her mom for starting THEIR weight loss because when I went to visit them that Saturday November 13 and they told me about what they were doing and how they were losing weight, they inspired me to finally get myself in gear. They showed me what they were eating, and how much they were eating and that's when I decided hey, I can do this too.
I was sick of imagining my old skinny self and longing to be that person because quite frankly, before November 13, I had kind of given up. I had decided that you know what, I don't think I can do this. . . It just took that one day with my family to realize, you know what? I can do this too.. And I WILL do this...because I want to be happy. I want to feel good. I want to go shopping and enjoy it. I want to look in the mirror and be proud. . . And now, 16 weeks later, I am slowly changing to a new person. I am starting to stand taller, I am starting to look in the mirror and see the old me again. I am beginning to be excited to go shopping. Although it still seems far off, I feel like I will be able to feel completely happy with myself one day in the near future.
Something pretty cool happened to me this morning. I have this pair of pants that are a size 7. A few months ago, I couldn't eve get them up over my thighs. Every now and again I try them on....seeing how I can get them a little further on helps me to see my weight loss. This morning I tried them on and although they are snug, I CAN DO THEM UP!!!!!! Wow. This is absolutely unbelievable. 35 lbs ago losing weight seemed impossible and you know what? Its not. It just takes hard work and A LOT of dedication. You have to want to lose weight. You have to completely change your lifestyle. No more planning things around food, instead, plan your food into your day. Don't make plans with your friends to go to dinner, make plans with friends to go for a run, or go to the gym. Wake up in the morning and plan when you will be going to the gym, or better yet, go to the gym first thing in the morning so that there is no chance to cancel the gym because something came up, or you're too tired. LOSE THE EXCUSES. Do this for YOU.
Can't wait til after work, #1 its FRIDAY!!!!!! #2 today is picture day. Hopefully I see a difference from Feb 11 to today. If I do, I shall post it for all to see! xo - B
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